When Everything Feels Numb: How Trauma Can Hide Behind Depression
Have you ever felt like everything is just too much?
Like you’re exhausted all the time, food doesn’t taste good, and even when good things happen — you feel nothing?
Maybe you’ve lost motivation, want to curl up and never move again, or you avoid people because it’s just easier to shut down. Sometimes, life looks fine on paper — good job, good friends — but joy still feels out of reach.
Most people would call that depression, but from a nervous system perspective, it might be something deeper:
a state of hypoarousal, also known as the dorsal vagal shutdown response.
And it’s often connected to unresolved trauma, especially from childhood.
Depression: More Than “A Chemical Imbalance”
For years, depression was blamed on “low serotonin” — a simple chemical imbalance. But newer research has shown that’s far too simplistic.
Depression isn’t one single disease. It’s a cluster of symptoms that can come from many different underlying causes: grief, trauma, chronic stress, illness, or emotional neglect.
So why do all these causes lead to the same drained, hopeless state?
Because depression is the body’s universal response to overwhelm.
As Dr. Charles Raison puts it, depression happens when your system flips from “I can handle this” to “I can’t handle this.”
It’s a subconscious survival response — the body’s way of saying, “I give up. I need to shut down.”
How Trauma Teaches the Body to Shut Down
Imagine a child growing up in a chaotic home — yelling, fighting, or even violence.
The child might try to stop it (fight), run away (flight), or freeze in place.
But if none of those work, the brain triggers a last-resort survival response: to shut down.
The child withdraws, hides, or emotionally disconnects because there’s no other way to feel safe.
Over time, this shutdown becomes a learned pattern — a nervous system habit.
As one person put it:
“I learned that no matter what I did, I’d be belittled or misunderstood. Eventually, I stopped trying at all.”
This is what trauma does: it teaches your nervous system that numbing out is safer than feeling.
The Nervous System and the Shutdown Response
Our nervous system constantly scans for safety or danger.
It operates in several states:
Ventral vagal state – Calm, safe, connected.
Sympathetic state – Activated for fight or flight.
Dorsal vagal state (hypoarousal) – The shutdown mode.
When danger feels inescapable, the body flips into dorsal vagal.
Heart rate drops, blood pressure lowers, and everything slows down. You feel numb, disconnected, and depressed.
This is not “just in your head.” It’s a measurable biological state — one that’s been observed in both humans and animals as tonic immobility.
It’s your body’s last defense: conserve energy and protect from pain.
What Hypoarousal Feels Like
If you’ve been there, you know the signs:
Emotional numbness or detachment
Fatigue, brain fog, or feeling frozen
Hopelessness and apathy
Physical heaviness or weakness
Isolation or shutting down
It’s depression, yes — but from a nervous system angle, it’s also a survival strategy that’s stuck in the “on” position.
Why the Shutdown Made Sense Once
When you were younger, maybe shutting down kept you safe.
Maybe it was the only thing that worked when everything felt unbearable.
But as an adult, that same strategy becomes a trap.
You’re no longer in danger — but your body doesn’t know that.
As one person described it:
“Trauma pushes you away from what you want, toward what you think you need to stay safe. You end up living a life that looks fine, but feels empty.”
From a Survival Response to a Habitual State
Your nervous system isn’t broken — it’s doing what it learned.
But chronic stress, loss, or ongoing emotional threats can keep you stuck in hypoarousal.
This is why depression often reappears after burnout, breakups, illness, or grief.
Each time, your body says, “This is too much. Let’s shut down again.”
Healing: How to Move Out of the Shutdown State
The good news? You can retrain your nervous system.
Here are four gentle ways to start:
1. Build Awareness
Notice when your body is in shutdown.
Name it: “I’m in hypoarousal right now.”
This helps you separate you from the state — a key step in regulation.
Therapists trained in somatic or polyvagal approaches can guide you here.
2. Add Movement
Movement tells your brain you’re safe.
Even simple actions — walking, stretching, shaking your arms, dancing, laughing — help bring your system from shutdown to activation.
Exercise, in fact, is one of the most effective treatments for depression.
3. Rebuild a Sense of Safety and Capability
Your nervous system resets when it believes you can handle life again.
That might mean:
Facing small fears
Setting boundaries
Solving one manageable problem
Each action signals, “I am capable.”
This is known as behavioral activation — and it’s powerful.
4. Rest and Replenish
Sometimes, shutdown is your body begging for rest.
Listen. Sleep, eat well, connect with supportive people, and allow yourself to grieve or recover.
Self-compassion helps your system return to safety faster than self-criticism ever will.
A New Way to Understand Depression
Seeing depression as a nervous system response — not a character flaw or purely chemical issue — changes everything.
It invites compassion, curiosity, and choice back into healing.
You’re not lazy. You’re not broken.
Your body is trying to protect you — and with awareness, movement, safety, and rest, you can teach it that you’re safe now.
