When Life Stops Making Sense: Understanding an Existential Crisis
Most of us go through life following a certain rhythm — school, work, relationships, family, routines. But sometimes, something interrupts that rhythm. A loss, a change, or simply a quiet moment of reflection can spark unsettling questions:
“What’s the point of all this?”
“Who am I, really?”
“Am I living the life I want, or just the life I fell into?”
This moment of questioning is called an existential crisis. Far from being rare, it’s something most people will face at least once in their lives. And while it can feel deeply unsettling, it can also be a doorway into growth and authenticity.
What Is an Existential Crisis?
An existential crisis is not just “feeling lost” or having a bad day. It’s a profound questioning of life itself — its meaning, purpose, and your role within it. It can leave you feeling unmoored, anxious, or even hopeless.
It often arises during times of transition or disruption, such as:
The loss of a loved one
A breakup or divorce
Career changes, retirement, or redundancy
Illness or health scares
Major life milestones (turning 30, 40, 50…)
Periods of burnout or depression
Even positive changes — like becoming a parent or reaching a career goal — can trigger it, because they make us confront identity, responsibility, and mortality.
Common Feelings During an Existential Crisis
An existential crisis can stir up a mix of emotions:
Anxiety about the unknown and the future
Emptiness — a sense that life has lost its colour or meaning
Restlessness — dissatisfaction with routines, jobs, or relationships that once seemed fine
Isolation — feeling different from others or misunderstood
Fear of mortality — confronting the reality that life is finite
These feelings can be heavy, but they’re also signals: your psyche is inviting you to pause and re-examine what truly matters.
Why It Happens: The Deeper Roots
Existential crises often arise when there’s a gap between your authentic self and the life you’re living. For example:
You’re following a career or lifestyle that doesn’t align with your values.
You’ve been people-pleasing or fawning for so long that you’ve lost touch with what you want.
You’ve experienced a loss that shattered the assumptions you built your life on.
You’ve reached a milestone and realised the “success” you chased doesn’t actually bring fulfilment.
These moments are painful, but they also shine a light on the places where you’ve been living out of alignment.
The Shadow Side: When an Existential Crisis Feels Overwhelming
While existential questioning can be healthy, sometimes it spirals into despair. Without support, it can deepen into:
Depression
Numbness and disconnection
Addictive or compulsive behaviours to fill the void
A sense of paralysis, being unable to make decisions or move forward
This is why it’s so important to approach existential questioning with compassion — and, if needed, with therapeutic support.
Moving Through an Existential Crisis
The goal isn’t to make the big questions disappear — it’s to learn to live alongside them and allow them to guide you into deeper authenticity.
Here are some ways to navigate the process:
Pause and Reflect: Give yourself permission to slow down instead of running from the discomfort.
Journaling: Write about your fears, questions, and values. What matters most to you? What feels empty or false?
Reconnect With Values: Identify what truly gives you meaning — connection, creativity, service, growth.
Explore Spirituality or Philosophy: Sometimes existential questions are not meant to be “answered” but lived with curiosity.
Seek Safe Support: Therapy, trusted friendships, or communities can help you hold these questions without being overwhelmed.
Take Small Steps: Instead of overhauling your whole life, try making small shifts toward alignment with your true self.
The Hidden Gift of an Existential Crisis
Though it can feel like the ground has been pulled out from under you, an existential crisis often holds a hidden gift. It’s a turning point — an invitation to let go of what no longer fits and step into a life that feels more real, more aligned, more you.
It’s in these moments of deep questioning that many people discover their greatest clarity, resilience, and purpose.
Closing Thought
An existential crisis can feel like the darkest night of the soul. But it is also a sign that your soul is awake — refusing to settle for half-truths or borrowed meanings.
With compassion and courage, the crisis can become a path toward deeper connection, freedom, and authenticity. Instead of a breakdown, it can be a breakthrough.
